Bad buying and selling can seem like a boxing match. Good buying and selling is a dance—with a rhythm, graceful footwork, and a dip at the end to raucous applause.
When it comes to sales, most people can conjure a clear picture of what a bad salesperson looks like. They can describe, in detail, their behaviors, their attitude, and many negative characteristics that most salespeople have long endured. That said, the situation can be impacted by good and bad buying, not just good and bad selling.
So what does a bad buyer look like? How do they behave? Since buying and selling is a dance, of sorts, that involves two parties, isn’t it important to examine both?
Let’s delve into the characteristics that define both good and bad sellers, as well as the traits that set apart astute buyers from those who may hinder the process.
The Bad Sellers:
- Pushy and Self-Centered:
Bad sellers often approach interactions with an agenda, relentlessly pushing their own interests. Their focus is more on closing deals than on understanding the customer’s unique needs and concerns. - Control Freaks with Assumptions:
Rather than seeking clarity, they assume, making potentially costly misjudgments. They try to control every aspect of the conversation, leaving little room for genuine connection. - Talk, Talk, Talk:
These sellers tend to dominate conversations, drowning out the voice of the customer. They fail to realize that listening is an art, and it’s through attentive ears that genuine understanding arises. - Information Hoarders:
In an age where transparency is paramount, bad sellers keep their cards close, missing opportunities to build trust and credibility. They view information as power, rather than a tool for building fruitful relationships. - Process Ignorance:
For them, the end goal is everything. They disregard the importance of a well-structured sales process, often resulting in hasty, ill-informed decisions.
The Good Sellers:
- Attentive and Proactive Listeners:
A cornerstone of a good seller’s approach is their ability to listen actively. They tune in to the customer’s needs, asking insightful questions and seeking to understand before being understood. - Prepared and Organized:
They do their homework, researching not just the product, but also the customer’s industry, pain points, and goals. This preparation demonstrates a genuine interest in providing value. - Other-Focused and Problem-Solvers:
Good sellers shift the focus from themselves to the customer. They are adept at identifying problems and tailoring solutions that genuinely address those concerns. - Transparent and Process-Oriented:
They understand that trust is built on transparency. They share relevant information openly, ensuring that both parties are on the same page throughout the process. - Well-Defined Sales Process:
Rather than fixating on the close, they recognize that the journey matters just as much. They guide the customer through a structured process, fostering confidence and trust.
The Good Buyers:
- Open Communicators and Information Sharers:
Just as good sellers listen, good buyers communicate. They are transparent about their needs and expectations, fostering a collaborative atmosphere. - Value-Driven and Relationship-Oriented:
They recognize that a healthy, long-term relationship is more valuable than a quick win. They seek partnerships built on trust, knowing this foundation leads to enduring success. - Pragmatic About Price:
While cost matters, they understand that value often outweighs price. They don’t prematurely focus on the bottom line, instead valuing the overall benefits in the seller’s offer.
The Bad Buyers:
- Guarded and Self-Determining:
They hold their cards close, revealing little about their true needs and intentions. This secrecy can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities. - Zero-Sum Mentality:
For them, it’s a win-lose game. They view negotiations as a battleground rather than a collaborative effort to find mutual benefit. - Price-Centric and Deal-Hunters:
They fixate on the lowest cost, often neglecting the broader value proposition. This shortsightedness can lead to missed opportunities for growth and innovation.
Navigating Buyer-Seller Dynamics: A Blueprint for Success
In the complex world of sales, the interplay between buyers and sellers can be a delicate dance. When this relationship is out of sync, it can lead to a host of challenges that hinder progress.
The 2×2 matrix shown is a great way to explore the four possible scenarios in each quadrant. In the bottom left, both buyers and sellers are exhibiting bad behaviors and skills, while in the top right quadrant, the two parties are skilled at the dance.
Let’s dissect these scenarios to understand what happens when good and bad buying meets good and bad selling and, more importantly, how to turn them around for a mutually beneficial outcome.
Bottom left: When Buyers and Sellers are on Shaky Ground
In this disaster-waiting-to-happen scenario, both parties exhibit bad selling and bad buying. It’s easy to see that things aren’t going to get very far for either one.
- Focus on Money, not Value
In this scenario, both parties are fixated on the bottom line. The transaction becomes solely about financial gain, sidelining the true value that could be offered. This tunnel vision often leads to missed opportunities for long-term partnerships and growth. - Trust is Low
With a lack of transparency and genuine interest in each other’s needs, trust erodes. This can escalate into a vicious cycle of skepticism and reluctance to move forward. - Self-Orientation
Individual agendas take precedence over mutual understanding and collaboration. The result is a disjointed process where each party is pushing their own agenda without considering the bigger picture. - Process Chaos
The pace of the negotiation is erratic, swinging between lightning-fast decisions and agonizingly slow progress. This inconsistency adds frustration and uncertainty to the mix. - Ghosting
Communication breakdowns are common in this strained relationship. Messages go unanswered, leaving both parties in the dark about the status of the deal. - A “Combative” Process
The negotiation feels like a boxing match, with each side fighting for their own interests. This adversarial atmosphere can lead to a breakdown in communication and a potentially sour deal.
So how can buyers and sellers improve this scenario? Without either party skilled enough to guide the process, the best option is for both to be open and honest. Transparency is key. As a result, buyers and sellers will feel more comfortable and treat each other with a bit more kindness as they work together to come up with the best solution.
Top left: When Sellers Shine and Buyers Falter
- Guiding the Process
Sellers take the lead in this scenario, providing a structured path for the transaction. Without taking control and making the buyer feel uncomfortable, the seller needs to recognize that some structure and guidance will help everyone. - Buyer Insecurity
Without a clear understanding of what information is crucial, buyers may hesitate to share key details. This lack of transparency can hinder progress. - An “Asymmetrical” Process
The power dynamic leans heavily towards the seller. This imbalance can create friction, making it challenging for the buyer to feel truly empowered in the decision-making process.
To prevent problems that may arise in this situation, the skilled seller should recognize the need to guide the process with a light touch and an empathetic heart.
Bottom right: When Buyers Excel and Sellers Lag Behind
- Relationship Building
Buyers in this scenario take the initiative to foster a meaningful connection. Unfortunately, sellers may be too focused on closing the deal to truly engage in building a rapport. - Close-Centric Sellers
The seller’s primary focus is on the end result, potentially neglecting the steps needed to get there. This lack of attention to detail can lead to misunderstandings and stalled progress. - Lack of Clarity
The process lacks definition, leaving both parties unsure of the next steps. This ambiguity can lead to frustration and delays. - Information Sharing Gap
While buyers are willing to share their needs, sellers fail to actively seek a deep understanding. This disconnect can result in a mismatch between offered solutions and actual requirements. - Assumption of Buyer Knowledge
Sellers may assume that buyers have a clear understanding of their needs, potentially leading to mismatched solutions.
This situation can be the most frustrating of all! A willing and capable buyer can find themselves working with a bad seller who is completely focused on themselves and on “closing the deal”. While it can be helpful to educate the seller, the buyer’s best move might be to look elsewhere.
Top right: When Both Parties Thrive
Photo by Alvin Mahmudov on Unsplash
- Collaboration at its Core
A true partnership emerges, where both parties work hand in hand towards a common goal. - Value is Paramount
The focus shifts from money to value, recognizing the potential for long-term growth and success. - Clarity in Process
The buying and selling process is well-defined, eliminating uncertainty and guesswork. - Frequent and Open Communication
Both sides actively engage in transparent and regular communication, ensuring everyone is on the same page. - A Mutually Beneficial Approach
The relationship transcends a mere transaction, evolving into a dynamic where 1+1 equals far more than 2.
Nirvana! This scenario will always produce the best possible results for both parties. Buyers and sellers who are each skilled and working towards mutually beneficial outcomes create an enjoyable situation that often results in a long-lasting connection that extends many years into the future—a lot like dance partners that seem to float across the dance floor!
In the ever-evolving landscape of buyer-seller dynamics, understanding how good and bad buying and good and bad selling interact is the first step towards achieving a mutually beneficial outcome. By recognizing the signs and adapting our approach, we can transform challenging interactions into opportunities for growth and collaboration. Remember, it’s not just about closing a deal—it’s about building lasting relationships that stand the test of time.
Wainwright Insight provides fractional sales management and sales consulting to organizations who want to take control of their pipeline and build future sales leaders—but could use a little, part-time expertise. I work with professional services firms, and the experts in those firms, who need to get better at chasing and winning big deals when the stakes are high.
Please share this post however you’d like: